Ms Bitters Dies
by Dancing Feather
Summary: Rather spectacularly, I might add. :oneshot:


Invader Zim should be copyrighted to Jhonen Vasquez. I'm not making any money off of this and do not hope to. I do wish to make you smile however. Here's hopin'.

* * *

**Ms. Bitters Dies**

_Peace was the last thing on the old crone's mind. Revenge however, was strung high. She warned many of it's comings but no one even tried to stop it. Well, not enough people tried to stop it and now what used to be such a nice place was now almost unbearable. Sunlight practically screaming through the pockets of the ozone layer and down to the dehydrated city, melting ice cream and emptying public pools. She wanted to get back at them, somehow, do something to get back at them. But she couldn't think of anything..._

_Except for torturing their kids and their kid's kids... and their kid's kid's kids..._

_For 50 years._

"Today class," the old crone's dentures clacked against each other to make a solid plastic sound, "we are unfortunately going through a horrible heat wave. A _really_ horrible heat wave." the last sentence she hissed as if they were the most filthy words she ever uttered in all the years she was an old crone.

_'Thank you, Captain Obvious.'_ Dib sighed to his fanning left hand. It was at this time of the year he was partially relived to have a window seat. There was always the threat of an outside danger coming and attacking his enormous forehead. Bugs, squirrels, Gir, a medically insane chihuahua... Suddenly feeling a small breeze Dib froze in place, closing his eyes to enjoy the minor bliss. The sound of hacking that only came from an old throat, joggled him back to the reality of things.

"...and so, I thought this would be a perfect day to focus on history." Her old, vein covered pale hand twitching madly in arthritis grabbed a piece of broken chalk that just barely won the lack of color award. It did win most lively however. "So you nasty little brats can finally understand that your future... is only shrouded in DOOM!" A light bulb burnt out due to heat exposer, but due to it's perfect timing the kids could only assume the worst- Ms. Bitters was the Heat Miser. And whatever child she touched burned a soul in her clutch.

It's too much.

_'It's like she knows that I will succeed in my mission!'_ Zim thought his first positive thought that day. He was also not a fan of heat. Having no sweat pores he was panting along with every four legged creature in this city. Which is quite ironic, due to the fact that one was absolutely hairless. He was also pretty green, but a shaved Polar Bear is black so we'll just drop that. Anyways, Zim sitting fairly uncomfortably in his seat comparing just how much he hated hot weather to cold weather, which then reminded him of rainy weather which he absolutely _loathed_, and windy weather just sucked. Wind blowing alien air up into his uniform were it just didn't belong. After brooding in deep thought, Zim realized there wasn't a single good day on Earth and decided that he just wasn't a fan of weather.

Making sure that each chalk stroke created a shrieking noise Ms. Bitters slowly wrote out the lesson plan for the next six hours of the day. A sneer crept upon her face as she dared to make the last stroke the longest and the loudest, but the petrified chalk couldn't take it anymore and snapped halfway through the finishing underline causing peace to enter the children's ears, and they stood up and cheered and cried for the chalk who had to make the dearest sacrifice of them all-

"SILENCE!" she roared as she threw herself into the air a trail of black wispy smoke followed her as she zoomed around the room, passing by the light switches she slapped them down leaving the children in darkness. Flying around faster, her icy attitude began cooling the room, causing the kids to become more excited standing up and dancing around causing further noise. "SHUT UUUP!" she hollered, her black dress catching and ripping on whatever that is on Dib's head. A scythe of hair? "IF YOU DO NOT SHUT UP-" but she did not get a chance to finish, as fate would have it, that slight catch, that very slight catch that tore the hem of her most evil dress turned Ms. Bitters a few degrees further and faster than she could stop herself. She blew right through her own desk, it's remains of splinters and desk like objects like pencils, protractors, scissors, pens, papers, stapler, erasers, calculators and a gun if not going through her very flesh bounced off the walls and floor of the room.

Where Ms. Bitters crashed was where she stayed, the only thing moving at that time if not counting the children who just remembered to breathe, was the dark blood seeping from under the clothes and wig onto the pale tiled floor. It was after a few moments of silence that Zim remembered to pick up his wig and place it back on his head. Eying the room carefully, he checked to make sure no one noticed his lack of hair before he did. And as he did, it was then Zim realized that he was the only one looking like he didn't care. Tears welling up in most of the kid's eyes, not counting those who passed out from lack of air or witnessing blood. Zita's tears were already quietly pouring down her face. It didn't make sense to him, because he was pretty sure everyone hated her. He would of thought the normal reaction would be to continue cheering like they were doing just minutes ago. But apparently it wasn't, so he would do his part to act normal.

"OH GOD WHY?" everyone jumped, excluding the passed out ones. Dib fell back into his desk, it took a moment to register just who shouted. Even though Zim and he are about the only ones who have ever shouted in class. Zim walked over to the corpse, having too much pride to stumble on his way there he relied on his face to do the acting for him, "OH THE HORROR!" he pressed a hand against his forehead as if fainting was to catch him at any moment. Shock began fading from Dib as he rose an eyebrow to Zim's most horrible act yet. Hearing a stifling gasp, he turned to see Gretchen collapse to her knees, her face completely buried in her hands which is really hard to do when your teeth are as big as Dib's head.

"Okay Zim, shows over." Dib carefully strode forward, careful to avoid tripping over anything on his way to the alien. The last thing he needed was for this idiot to make it worse.

"The only thing that's OVER Dib, is our TEACHER!" he then made a chocking noise that Dib decided was Zim pretending to cry, "and we will MOURN for her, the ONLY teacher in this ENTIRE skool to SACRIFICE herself for US!"

"Zim, this was just an accident-"

"HORRIBLE DIB-WORM, THIS IS ALL YOUR DOING!"

And that was how Dib was labeled as the murderer.

* * *

RIP Ms. Bitters, this is in loving memory of how fabulous you are.

If you thought this was bad, I'm making a sequel. No, don't reread that. You read it right. Keep your eyes peeled and in a jar.


End file.
